Black is beautiful, not angry...damn

Sistahs, this one is for you....How many of us are walking around with Angry Black Women Syndrome....and dont sit here and act like you have no clue what I'm talking about. If you are confused ask any black man and he will tell you. For as far back as I can remember we as black women were told to be strong, to go hard and to pull ourselves up from the bottom that we were so casually dumped years ago. Somehow that strength turned into independence and the independence turned into an attitude that has a reputation so fierce, it has motion pictures, books, and talk shows dedicated to it. In all seriousness tho, as a black woman suffering from that, I had to investigate where it came from. To me it seems to all be wrapped up in a misplaced idea of respect. I believe all women want respect, but black women seem to feel like being the loudest, and the coldest, with the biggest walls up get us that respect. And it does to some extent but its respect through fear, men fear what will happen if they piss us off..."Shes not gonna shut her mouth"...and less and less are becoming willing to deal with it. After pissing enough men off I learned a few things, one, my attitude that  I thought was cute, ITS NOT! Next thing I learned is i was really afraid to love and have a man use me. To truly love means we have to be vulnerable and risk being cheated on, dumped, used,or  embarrassed. Since we are taught to be strong and survive, we cant be weak. If he cheats on us we cant just cry and say "why me?" we need to smash some windows and show him how we roll. Ive been through all those things and guess what, im still strong. Our strength isnt defined be making men too scared to mess with us, its defined be dealing, surviving, learning and moving on, if he does. So black women, stop talking to men like youre crazy. If youre not interested, just say "thanks but no thanks". Dont turn your nose up or judge him. Smile as often as you can, why are we mean mugging all the time? Black women look like their mouths are sown together. Like if they smile, Jesus might personally come down and condemn them. Be friendly, not all men are the enemy, if you want to find a good one, be open to it, get on offense girl...men are not always trying to take advantage of you and if they are you suck at choosing men. If you set you standards (realistic ones) and stick to that, you will be able to weed out the bad guys without your Sha-nay-nay 'tude and finger up in the air.      

"What Chilli Wants" is to be single

Anyone watch that reality show "What Chilli Wants" I just saw the episode where she dumped a guy, a fine, interesting guy btw, she was only casually dating along with some other guy simple because he rode his motorcycle with another chick. GET REAL. First, of all, hes not your man. Women need to stop setting expectations when they aren't even committed to a guy. HES NOT YOUR MAN, DONT EXPECT HIM TO ACT LIKE HE IS. Second, why let other women get to you? Every woman should go into a situation feeling like shes the best thing since sliced bread...its called confidence, invest in some. Men go for women who believe in themselves...if youre gonna be insecure about another woman and you guys have been out twice, you look desperate. PERIOD. Chilli shows that shes completely scared to get into a relationship. She comes off as too picky, needed, and indecisive. And the one man she does attach herself to is emotionally unavailable to her....he wont give her any kind of commitment or acknowledgment of her needs, yet she invests her time in him. She clearly looks for the unattainable because the relationship cant fail if it cant start. These are all defense mechanisms...ladies above all else, we need to be honest with our selves...you cant give to a man or relationship if you are too scared to be with/in one.