Who dat is?!

Ok, maybe my mindset is a bit twisted but I cannot understand why people that have children with another person and have separated from that person see the need to meet the new person that they are dating. The argument is usually "I need to see what kind of person is around my child". First of all, if the person is bad, or mean or neglectful....do you think they are going to tell you or show you in your little one hour meeting? Second, even if the person is someone you later find out you don't like, that's your opinion and short of them abusing your child, there is nothing that can be done about it. The problem that arises is something we don't think about when we have kids with people we are not ready to spend our lives with, people look at things differently. Its immature for you to assume that your ex is going to feel the exact same as you do as a parent. Its even more immature to believe that the person that your ex is dating is going to always meet your standards as a parent...guess what, they don't have to. They just have to meet the other parents standards. We've gotten this idea that is a matter of respect. I think that's crap...its a matter of being nosy. If you and your ex have the type of relationship where you co-parent in sync then chances are you will meet the new person and an event in the child's life anyway. But if you dont have that type of relationship, then what makes you think you should you have the right to inspect the aspects of their lives...that's unreasonable. Are you going to have you ex line up all of their friends and family members that the child will be around? How about their neighbors that the kids will play with? All of those people have the ability to have the same amount of influence on the child, yet most people don't request to meet them. My conclusion is because you don't need to size them up In comparison to yourself. The finally thing is, I think we forget who is actually responsible for protecting the child...their other parent. If you have been sending your child to their other parent without major protest that means you trust them to take care of your child...who they bring around the child should be included in that judgment. Do you really believe they are going to put your child around someone that will do intentional, irreparable harm to your child? That's the courts mindset...not whether or not you like them, whether they pose harm to the child. If you have a problem with the other parent period, that's the issue, not the person they are dating. That is something the court would have to get involved with, but keep in mind if the judge rules in favor of your ex, you have no say on meeting the person they are dating. I think when your ex is marrying someone and your child will be co-parented by another person, that may be cause for a meeting. Just because you all have to be on equal pages in the development of that child, but girlfriends/boyfriends don't count. I personally wouldn't waste my time dealing with my sons father's girlfriend. I choose to evaluate the source...him. He has demonstrated that he is a questionable parent and the court agreed. I never wanted to meet her because I'm sure she is probably questionable too. We have to be careful to do whats in the best interest of the child and not whats in our best interest as a person. The less drama the better.